I found a list of the top-15 things that men are allegedly afraid of. I've often described myself as an atypical male. I don't drink beer. I don't know anything about tools. And I know nothing about cars. So let's see if the trend continues.
#1 Public humiliation: Well sure, who wants this? I'm not sure this is a fear of mine. But it is something I'd like to avoid at all costs.
#2 Not seeing his kids grow up: Again, I don't fear it. But I certainly want to experience this.
#3 Tofurky: I'm guessing this was a joke entry. But if it tastes good, I'll eat it. If it tastes like shit, I won't.
#4 Getting naked: If I could be naked all the time, I would. I have no fear of nudity. I'm not real modest. And if someone wants to see the goods, just ask. When a female's been involved, it's a two-way street the first time. And she's probably a lot more concerned about her vanity than I am with mine. And once the action starts, it's all good anyway.
#5 Beautiful women: I must admit, even though I have nothing to gain, and I'm seeking nothing in return, I still have a tendency to get a little flustered. But I won't shy away from them. If anything, I'll try to get a little closer.
#6 Living paycheck to paycheck: One of life's cruel jokes. Most everyone is in this boat - save for some elite republicans.
#7 Not being a god to his kids: I'm "daddy." That's good enough.
#8 Being a lousy lover: Well, I've had no complaints, save for the one time I was sick and loopy on cold medicine. And no, that was not my wife. When all parties end satisfied, what more can you ask?
#9 Her tears: They are rare. I didn't marry a fragile tulip. There's nothing to fear here.
#10 His dad's death: Well, that would certainly suck. I guess there's a small fear for the inevitable. But it's not pending. So all is well.
#11 Speedos: I don't need to share the outline of my package to the world. If you want a peek, just ask. Speedos also kill sperm. It's true.
#12 Super Nanny: I've seen the show once. I have no desire to see it again. But if I catch a bit of it, so be it.
#13 Rejection: This one may be true. I've always struggled with rejection. Because of it, I've often avoided situations that could lead to it. Sometimes I'm amazed I ever got laid, let alone married. This fear has subsided with the passage of time. But it still exists.
#14 Getting caught noticing another woman: The beauty of sunglasses. You can gawk and not be noticed. Am I concerned if my wife sees me looking though? Hardly! She could pretty much care less. The most I'd ever get is an eye roll, after I gaze upon some other lovely creature and make some sort of gutteral "mmm-mmm." Jimmy Carter once said in an interview that he lusted after several women outside of his marriage. I think that's normal. Kudos to him for admitting it. But thinking it and acting on it are too vastly different things.
#15 Hair in the drain: My hair is so short as it is. If any were to hit the bottom of the shower, they'd be washed away. Amazingly, I still have my hair. At this point, I've no fear of losing it.
So there you have it. Once again, it appears as if I'm abnormal. Oh well. I'm happy that way.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
3 comments:
Ya, I think I fit into the worry bucket for # 6 on this one but give me a few more years...
Rebuttal for last remark/dig on #6 - glad the liberals have no people who are well off:
1. Ted "I married a Communist" Turner
2. John "I Like my women like ketchup, rich" Kerry
Could keep going but I gotta go pack. So I'll pause for now......ok can't stop, oh how about 99% of "Hollywood", they certainly are pinching pennies at XX million $ per movie plus merchandising and DVD sales %.
Face it, both sides of the aisle have many many people who make boo koo $.
Oh and no I am not a "republican" but I am very conservative.
I'm out like 80s parachute pants.
I have a lot I could say about this, but let me start with this fact:
95% of this country's wealth is controlled by 5% of the population. That means that the remaining 95% of us are scrambling for that 5% of remaining wealth.
I've occasionally had dealings with that top 5%. They're not necessarily good people. They're not necessarily hard-working or insightful or talented; most billionaires are billionaires becasuse their parents were billionaires. If your dad's a billionaire, you can go to any school you want. Your grades don't even have to be that good. You can travel anywhere in the world. You don't have to work full-time or even part-time in high school. You will never have to worry about loans.
Do these people vote Republican? I have no idea. So what does this have to do with partisan politics? Well, a big Republican talking point is, "Don't tax the rich. They work so hard for their money! They should get to keep it."
Wrong, wrong, wrong. When we first were married, my wife & I had a friend; let's call him Rob.
He was a good guy. His dad was featured in Fortune Magazine, and was also a good guy. Like me, Rob was a student at New England Conservatory, which is an expensive school. Unlike me, he had no student loans. Unlike me, he had never had a full-time job. Rob was free to spend many hours every day practicing and refining his craft. He could take the gigs he wanted to take and refuse the ones he didn't feel like taking.
Why? Because at the age of 23, he was getting a $3500 a month allowance.
Like I said, Rob's a good guy, and he's a good musician. Today he's a drummer in NYC, doing lots of Broadway shows and some session work. But let's be clear -- he would have had to work much, much, much harder to get there if he hadn't had daddy paying for everything.
What's wrong with that? Nothing, really. We all have to play the hand we're dealt. I certainly can't complain about the luck I've had. But every time you hear a Republican Senator talking about how it's evil to over tax our poor overworked billionaires, or it's class warfare or some shit, just remember all the crappy jobs you had to work when you were young. Think about people like my wife's parents who each had to work two jobs to make ends meet. Those people who are getting the big tax breaks have never cleaned a toilet. Not their own, or anyone else's. Never.
Debating topics such as this always seems to end up in the same place. Could I give a rebuttal? Yes. Would it materially change either of our points of view? Probably not. I respectfully disagree with your perspective.
Post a Comment